Today’s Gospel for the feast of Epiphany (Matthew 2:1-12) is the familiar Story of the Magi journeying from far away to find Jesus. In the Story they travel from their homes, their places of safety, and follow the star which is leading them to Jesus. On the way they get lost and sidetracked, and meet King Herod who tries to maneuver them for his own purposes. When we let it, this Story can offer insight and context to our own life, and our own journey, should we choose to make such a journey and follow our own star.
The greatest and most significant journey we make is our inner journey, the journey from the Jesus we know about and keep at a safe distance from any really meaningful involvement in our everyday life to the Jesus we come to know quite well and whom we invite to be very significantly involved in our everyday life. There is a real difference between the two. It is a journey with Jesus from our head into our heart. It is a journey no one can make for us, but which we have to make ourselves, and one that is not forced on us, but offered to us.
If we choose to let ourselves be led to make this journey we lay aside the Jesus we have come to know about from others, follow our own star, which is another way of saying we choose to be open to the unexpected grace of the present moment and go wherever it takes us. We choose to move without placing any restrictions on how we will accept and follow this grace. As did the Magi in the Story, we will get lost and confused, travel through unsafe places – unsafe because we are letting go of so much that we have become accustomed to and familiar with – and many times along the way give serious thought to dropping the whole idea and just stay with what we know and feel safe with.
Sometimes our own star is bright and clear to us, other times we wonder if there ever really was a star or if we were deluded. We may find ourselves in some pain because we just don’t know anymore. We are in the awful position of doubt. When we look back on these experiences, we see they were times when Jesus was preparing us to go much “deeper” in our relationship in him. And it happened. Bit by bit we come to know Jesus as anything but remote and uninvolved. From time to time he is powerfully real to us, at other times powerfully absent from us. We come to know this is all part of our journey as we renew again and again our consent to him leading us and our desire to work hard and do whatever it takes.
In the Story the Magi, in response to a dream, return to their home by another way. We might become aware that we are returning to our everyday life by another way as we sense our relationship with Jesus is changing. Among the greatest changes is the awareness that we are not alone, but part of Someone who is Good, and who is with us always and in everything. We might find a greater urge to be open and respond to the unexpected grace of the moment without placing any conditions on how we will accept and follow this grace. This itself is a powerful step on our journey as we come to be aware that our journey is a necessary part of everyone else’s. And from time to time we move toward a deepening sense of freedom and peace no matter what is going on around us. We may come to find out that this journey really is worth whatever it takes.
