Gospel Thoughts 29 March 09

In today’s Gospel Story (John 12:20-33) Jesus says “It is for this purpose that I came to this hour”. He also reminds us that if we love our life we will lose it, and a grain of wheat must die before it can produce wheat.

In God’s loving providence, everything that has gone before us in our life has prepared us for where we are now -- the things we are happy about, and those we are not. Looking back on our life we find we may have grown through our experiences. They have made us the persons we are now. We might be happy about the way we are, or we might not. Jesus talks about death bringing us to life. As we look back on our tough times we might come to see them as little deaths which have brought us to new life in any number of ways. Many of these tough times came to us because of choices we made, others we might have had little to do with bringing them into our life. They happened, we dealt with them, our life changed somehow, and here we are. We may have learned a lot, or we may not have. We may have gained the wisdom or insight that when we look at a problem long enough we come to see our part in it. We are where we are. Things are as they are.

The life Jesus teaches we have to lose is the web of images we weave to make ourselves acceptable to others and to ourselves. We don’t just choose to let these images go, because they are so much a part of our everyday life that we think they are real. We find out what has to go as we live every day in Jesus’ company. It might be that, instead of having a conscious plan of realigning our life, we simply consent to our realization from time to time that we no longer need a particular image or value. It might be that we gradually become aware we don’t always have to know everything, that we don’t need people to live by our expectations, we don’t always have to get what we want. As this life begins to die – always with our consent – we might become aware of a new life happening within us. We also become aware that a lot of the images and habits do not want to go peacefully. At times we might have a battle on our hands as our old habits fight a rear guard action and we are getting beat up. We are learning humility, and another death begins for us.

Jesus says, “I am troubled now, yet what should I say, ‘Father, save me from this hour?’, Yet it is for this that I came to this hour”. Outside the setting of a journey with Jesus this makes no sense at all. In the setting of our journey it makes perfect sense, as Jesus invites us to follow him, and walks with us on our own way of the cross. As he shows us in his life, the only way to fullness of life for us is the death in us of what keeps us from going ever deeper with him. Jesus does not offer us an escape from difficult times but a way through them. Our journey offers us a different perspective on our life, one that is not recognized or accepted since it makes no sense at all outside the setting of our journey. We come to know God not as someone who is out there watching us, but as Someone in whom we are living all the time. And so our perspective begins to change. We move towards being willing to accept what comes on its own terms as an expression of grace, to being as best we can in practical circumstances obedient to the demands of our daily life, and open to the possibility of grace in everything, including the concrete realizations of our own weakness. “It is for this that I came to this hour; Father, glorify your name.”

Pastor's Desk 8 March 2009

Today’s Gospel Story is the Transfiguration, the Old Testament is Abraham prepared to sacrifice his son, the Psalm is, “I believed even when I said I am greatly afflicted”, and Paul reminds us of the trust of being with Jesus.

This past week in our community another soldier died. Any time a soldier dies it is a tragedy. When there is so much pain among us that our own are ending their lives by choice, the tragedy is unspeakable. It touches every one of us, often dredging up a confusion of feelings. Our leaders are calling us to stand down and refocus our concern for each other, to do what we do best – leave no one behind, take care of those who cannot take care of themselves. An increasing number of our leaders are taking the personally courageous step of sharing with us their own pain and their own reaching out for help. Our Army is pulling together as we try to take care of our own. It might be that we are hearing God’s call to trust him in our own lives and be alert to reach out in ways that might be costly for us. We do not know. We might echo the Psalm: “I believed even when I said I am greatly afflicted”.

Jesus led his friends up a mountain where they saw him as he truly is. It might be that he is leading us up a mountain to see him. Climbing up a mountain is not easy. Following Jesus is not easy. Abraham preparing to sacrifice his son was not easy. Believing when we are greatly afflicted is not easy. Being a soldier is not easy.

There would seem to be any number of reasons why a soldier might choose to end his or her life. A common one might be a sense of overwhelming aloneness. What Jesus would teach us in these readings, even show us in our own life, is that in no way are we ever alone. We might have to learn this ourselves before we can live it with others; otherwise if we were to try to share this with others, we would only be speaking pious platitudes and empty words.

Jesus walked with his friends up the mountain. Paul reminds us we are Jesus’ friends, and our faith teaches us he is walking with us up our mountain – this mountain we are living right here every day. When we are aware of this in our own everyday experience, it is a marvelous gift that we can share with each other, if only by enriching our attitude.

We encounter Jesus in the unexpected persons and places. Each of us is a mystery, a reflection of the Great Mystery which is God. Who we are is known only to God who loves us, and asks us to be open to his loving us. Our hurting soldiers do not know God loving them – their pain is too great. Love is not something we talk about, but anyone who has been in combat knows love among us is real.  Our relationship with Jesus is something personal, but it is not private. We let Jesus lead us up the mountain with whomever is in our life. How we do this comes out of our prayer – our prayer by ourselves and our prayer with others, especially our prayer together at Mass. We don’t learn new “techniques”; we bring (often without even being aware of it) to what we do everyday a new depth and richness that arises out of our deepening relationship with Jesus.

Our situation, difficult and disturbing as it may be, is not beyond grace. Everyone in our life has the need and the right to be in our life. Each of us, every single one of us, is right where we need to be, and we are not alone. Where we go with this is up to us.