In today’s Gospel Story (Mark 1:7-11) Jesus is baptized by John and the voice from the heavens says, “You are my beloved Son, with you I am well pleased”. As every one of us has to do in some way, Jesus left home and family and went out on his own. And, as every one of us is invited to do, he let himself be guided by the Spirit as he made his way back to his Father. This Story speaks of some of the encouragement he received from his Father.
We believe Jesus was a man like us in all things but sin, with the same doubts and fears as we do. However he was more concerned about being with his Father than we are. Often we are afraid to move out on our journey. We might even say that doubting in any way the god we have received from key people in our youth is sinful. So we keep this god in our head and distant from us as someone to be feared, obeyed, and manipulated. We do not let ourselves come to experience the God who calls us to himself in Christ. It is easier and safer this way. And so, while we grow into adulthood, our idea of God remains what we learned as a child. We do not let him out of our head and into our heart. We project our needs and expectations on God and when he, or those whom we think represent him, don’t live up to them, we blame and walk away. It is his fault, not ours. We need the feeling of control.
As Jesus learned, following the Spirit is dangerous and, at times, frightening. The ideas we learned as a child seem to fall away and we have nothing with which to replace them. Gradually we find that we don’t have to replace them. We come to see them for what they are – pointers to something much greater than we could imagine of ourselves. As Jesus followed the Spirit, he was misjudged, abused, and finally condemned. Yet all the while his center and focus was his relationship with his Father, a relationship he could live and experience, but not describe. This seems to be what happens with people who begin their journey of letting themselves be guided into the unknowable and uncontrollable. Yet, for people who have chosen to be open to Jesus and go with him on this journey, there is no other way. We are dependent on God always and in everything whether we choose to know it or not, but when we come to realize our dependence, this makes a powerful difference in our everyday life. Coming to realize our complete dependence on God always and in everything truly is awesome. Everyone and everything in our life takes on an unexpected and amazing, (and unexplainable) depth and richness.
God has a strange way of caring for persons who try to lay aside all and follow him: the Cross. The Cross always leads us farther than we really want to go, and it is personal. One of our great Symbols, it reminds us that when we commit to Christ, our hands are nailed down and there is no way we can hold on to anything. Ultimately it all comes down to, “Father, into your hands I commend myself”. Gradually we come to know that this is the only way to peace, freedom, and fulfillment – moving towards living in a way that reflects who we really are, an image of God, and we begin to have a sense of what it is to say “yes” to God, and the deep freedom this brings. As the Story speaks to us in whatever is going on in our life, we may also from time to time hear the words, “You are my beloved son/daughter, in you I am well pleased”. We do not need to feel in control, for however weak and faltering we may be, we are walking with Christ, and in any number of ways our load is getting lighter.
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